hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647 
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Post by hugs on Jul 11, 2015 13:40:26 GMT
What lovely and precious tributes for Sky. When I wear my George t-shirt and band I will think of Sky too. Again, so very sorry
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Post by diamondgirl on Jul 24, 2015 5:28:23 GMT
So very sorry Kat.
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kskatt
Junior Member
Posts: 833
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Post by kskatt on Jan 25, 2016 8:13:04 GMT
In my 57 years I have had to say good bye to far too many animals. Several that I had bonded with very strongly. Nothing has ever been this hard. Jan 7 was 6 months, I don't expect to be all healed up this soon, but not falling apart either. Just when I get through several days in a row without crying it starts up again. The one thing that can bring me any real peace is the idea of being reunited. I am surrounding myself with the words Faith and Believe; not hope, hope leaves a chance for doubt, and I can't do that. Your compassion and sympathy have meant very much to me, thank you so very much! I have no doubt that everyone has lost a furkid that was extra special, that the grieving process was extra hard. If it causes you pain to remember, please don't. The last thing I want is to hurt anyone, to bring on pain. If it doesn't hurt, could you share anything you did to sooth yourself. Was there anything that helped? How long did it take to find peace? I know that everyone is different, everyone grieves in their own way, but I also believe that we can have things in common that helps. Has anyone had a visitation or a true sign? I know you shared many things already, but that was deleted so I don't have the chance to reread and remember. I don't retain things well and when emotional it's even worse. There is so much anger in me. The teeth that should not have been there in the first place, the fact that the surgery that killed Sky should not have been necessary. Anger that, after all the uncertainty, in so many ways, it wasn't until I truly believed in the future and had allowed myself to make real plans that he was taken away. What do I do with that? You told me to share, so you asked for it.  |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jan 30, 2016 1:13:23 GMT
I can't say I "know how it is" for you because I haven't a clue. I don't know how it is that I can miss Schoenie and Buster as much as I do and still be totally willing to fall in love with other dogs and horses but I believe I have a clue.
Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist who developed analytical psychology had a saying in my own words goes something like this, "That which we resist, persists to have power over us no matter how much we say we want to be free of it. But to the extent we own up to it and accept it is the extent to which we will be able to be with it without being it's slave".
Another aspect of embracing what "is" that helps me be with grief is a promise I made to myself; to love my friends and family without reservation, to have no regrets. It's a promise I renew often, it's a "lifestyle choice" and not a burden, it's the person I want to be.
I know as far as animals go, I fall in love easily, not lightly, but there is no doubt I can fall in love again. Animals do it all the time, those of us who adopt them know this for a fact. I think it's because they naturally embrace the here and now. Sure they can have "old habits" or "ways of being" in response to what they've been through, but they are more in the moment and are naturally designed to be in the moment.
Love fully, love often through all of it
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Lipizzan
Junior Member
Europe, Croatia
Posts: 2,572
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Post by Lipizzan on Jan 30, 2016 9:51:01 GMT
kskatt, I am so very sorry for your lost. I too have lost some very best furry friends. That animals ment to me more then some humans do now. I can't say I ever got over it, I do smile and am happy when I dont think about them, but every memorie and every picture of them I saw is making me cry. It is a never ending cicle. No matter that it has been more then 4 years I still can feel the warmt and softnes of their coat undernight my fingers, and every little thing on them that made them special. But the saddest thing is that they do fade away with time, all the little things like that fade away. The feeling you had for them dont, you will always have that.
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kskatt
Junior Member
Posts: 833
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Post by kskatt on Jan 30, 2016 23:33:26 GMT
Oh  , I have the horses, dog and 14 cats. Sometimes I wish I owned my lap, and could get out of bed without a struggle. At least I no longer feel guilty for hugging or loving on them. Every now and then I can think of Sky without tears welling up in my eyes. I'm doing this ok, so far. I want to celebrate his life, I really do cherish the time I had with him. I want to look at the pictures and videos without it tearing my heart up. 2015 was a terrible year all around. It was the 10 year anniversary of losing my heart horse, of losing a cat that was "one of those" special ones. Then there was the hell of Sky's illness and death. Not that long after Sky died my dog Holly went downhill suddenly, her body was destroying her red cells, really fast. Rabies crossed my mind, I had seen a very sick skunk, though if the skunk had gotten into the pen Jordan would have ended it's life in a second. We tested for Rocky Mountain Spotted fever, then there was another thought, but it just ended up (after a week, and a thousand dollars) my vet told me she really didn't think we should keep going. The red blood cells were being destroyed so fast, a transfusion wouldn't give her enough time for more testing. Vet said she had seen dogs in that typed of condition and they rarely survived. Holly was suffering and it wasn't fair to her. So we let her go. Did send her to KSU for necropsy. I can't remember the "name" but it was bacterial infection in her heart. Vet said that did cross her mind at the beginning, but Holly's teeth were in great shape. It's the heart thing that is why we are pushed to have regular dental cleaning. Bacteria in the mouth is generally the cause of this condition. Why it hit Holly is a mystery. It was really hard and sad, but I felt guilty that I just couldn't give Holly near the grief that I had for Sky. Lipazzan, I make sure I have, at least one, video of every animal. Won't cover all the special things, but I try to get as much as I can. Only wish that had been possible for every one, in the past. Thank you both, you gave me things to think about, and it just helps for others to share with; my story and theirs. Well, there ended up being wet eyes not to long after saying I hadn't yet. I spoke way too soon! Didn't lose it though, that is progress. I think I'm just so emotionally drained. I am trying to give all the other furkids as much loving as I can, seriously reduce some of those regrets. When ever they go, they will know they were loved. |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jan 31, 2016 21:09:01 GMT
Oh , I have the horses, dog and 14 cats. Sometimes I wish I owned my lap, and could get out of bed without a struggle. At least I no longer feel guilty for hugging or loving on them. Every now and then I can think of Sky without tears welling up in my eyes. I'm doing this ok, so far. I want to celebrate his life, I really do cherish the time I had with him. I want to look at the pictures and videos without it tearing my heart up. 2015 was a terrible year all around. It was the 10 year anniversary of losing my heart horse, of losing a cat that was "one of those" special ones. Then there was the hell of Sky's illness and death. Not that long after Sky died my dog Holly went downhill suddenly, her body was destroying her red cells, really fast. Rabies crossed my mind, I had seen a very sick skunk, though if the skunk had gotten into the pen Jordan would have ended it's life in a second. We tested for Rocky Mountain Spotted fever, then there was another thought, but it just ended up (after a week, and a thousand dollars) my vet told me she really didn't think we should keep going. The red blood cells were being destroyed so fast, a transfusion wouldn't give her enough time for more testing. Vet said she had seen dogs in that typed of condition and they rarely survived. Holly was suffering and it wasn't fair to her. So we let her go. Did send her to KSU for necropsy. I can't remember the "name" but it was bacterial infection in her heart. Vet said that did cross her mind at the beginning, but Holly's teeth were in great shape. It's the heart thing that is why we are pushed to have regular dental cleaning. Bacteria in the mouth is generally the cause of this condition. Why it hit Holly is a mystery. It was really hard and sad, but I felt guilty that I just couldn't give Holly near the grief that I had for Sky. Lipazzan, I make sure I have, at least one, video of every animal. Won't cover all the special things, but I try to get as much as I can. Only wish that had been possible for every one, in the past. Thank you both, you gave me things to think about, and it just helps for others to share with; my story and theirs. Well, there ended up being wet eyes not to long after saying I hadn't yet. I spoke way too soon! Didn't lose it though, that is progress. I think I'm just so emotionally drained. I am trying to give all the other furkids as much loving as I can, seriously reduce some of those regrets. When ever they go, they will know they were loved. 1. Exactly, you love, kind of just how it is, isn't it? 2. My brother had a series of 5 strokes which sent tissue from his heart valve to his brain because of the bacteria from his teeth. Craziness. And he won't admit it, says its a bug bite. That's what a lifetime of smoking pot will do. He did drugs, I "do" food for the same reason. So yeah, by extension pot CAN kill or at least nearly so. 3. I honestly believe no animal would want any of us to grieve for them. |
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, I have the horses, dog and 14 cats. Sometimes I wish I owned my lap, and could get out of bed without a struggle.