hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647 
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Post by hugs on Sept 17, 2014 3:37:33 GMT
Since it is taking for forever to get Peachie peach pit over here I decided to take lessons. Its at the expensive nice lady place. I said that I wanted to do ground work so I could gain my confidence before I started riding. I have so much to get through. Especially since her horses are all TBs, for pete's sake!!
Today I worked with a Friesen-TB. We walked over orange snow fence, a wooden bridge and amongst a gaggle of fighting wrestling doggies, which was actually fun because it was both distracting and comforting. We walked forward, backward, fast and slow. And I picked up and cleaned his feetsies, his huge, stinky feeties.
One thing I just can't wait to try out on the Peachie this weekend. I'm going to be more direct with her. I'm going to see how confident we can be together. Easy for me to say as I sit here on my sofa 4 hours away, but hey, you never know.
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redzip
Junior Member
Posts: 1,701
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Post by redzip on Sept 17, 2014 11:04:56 GMT
Everything you do helps build trust, RESPECT, leadership, and more confidence. I am so glad Zippy and I did the desensitizing clinic together. We both got some things out of it, mostly FUN and trust. Have fun, and keep us posted!  |
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Post by lorddaxter on Sept 17, 2014 12:05:46 GMT
You will notice a big difference once you gain your confidence more, it will really pay off on the way you are with your own horses:)
I lost my nerve once after 4 falls in a row the same day(I used to compete other people's horses, that was the day from hell no kidding!)
I drove an hour every week for 3 months for lessons at a huge barn(as they had a x country course)and I still remember the skewbald mare they put me on, she was a doll and really helped me get my nerve back, after 4 rides I was taking her round their x country course and she never faltered once, it did take me a while to get back to where I was before but I honestly don't think I would ever have got there without her:)
I love that you have these clinics over here too, I've never been to one but I hope I can in the future, we don't have things like that in scotland, they have clinics but it's all focused on riding and I'm starting to realise that isn't the most important thing:)
Keep having fun:)
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Sept 17, 2014 13:06:22 GMT
Good job! I am looking into taking some lessons again, well, when it cools off a bit. I have been trail riding for so long, I would like to get back to riding "correctly". Plus I could use the exercise and it would be better than just going to the gym.
I bet you will start to see a difference in your communication with Peachy. Most importantly, have lots of fun while learning!
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Post by horselover4life on Sept 17, 2014 13:45:17 GMT
 ....sounds like you did great. 
You taught yourself you can do it....build that confidence stronger and I can guarantee that Peaches will sense it and also respect you and that new found confidence you exude from every pore of your body...
You Got This....keep going!! 
As for that Thoroughbred thing....they are only horses just like Peaches.
They respond to authority which is also respect...you ask with authority and they will comply.
Don't get hooked on a "breed name"....I've dealt with so many breeds and so many horses in my career... mares, geldings , stallions and breeding studs.
They all eat and poop the same way...it is only a horse is my feeling, just wrapped in different colored hair and size...they all have a pea sized brain in comparison to their body size.
You can't out-muscle them, you need to out-smart them....
Good for you....enjoy!! 
Hey, is that better...a small book for a change.. 
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nhg
Junior Member
Posts: 2,429
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Post by nhg on Sept 17, 2014 14:42:18 GMT
Good for you! It'll come the more time you spend doing things like that.
I find that I'm more confident with a coach around. It's silly because they couldn't do a thing if something bad happened but it helps me. Also playing games because then my mind is off of constantly worrying about what might happen. I'm sure you all remember from the other board that I had a wreck and head injury about fifteen years ago and lost my confidence. My balance also went down the toilet but my brain has learned to compensate, the problem is that it takes a split second too long to help me if something does happen. For the first few years I was terrible. I'd almost throw up at the thought of riding and sometimes would have a drink before I rode to calm my nerves. I'd still be like that on a horse that's acting up. That's why Prince is such a gem for me.
I used to only like riding difficult horses. Calm, quiet ones were boring to me. Now I won't ride them. I've had too many concussions and I can't have another one or I'm going to end up punch drunk. And I'm too old for that BS. When I think back to some of the crazy horses I rode it almost makes me feel ill. |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Sept 17, 2014 20:21:08 GMT
Oh, what I meant by that was that there are all so freakingly TALL! Holy buckets! Listen, Penny is the tallest horse we own and she's 15.1 and of course Peachie is 14h on a clear day, I'm 15.3, so anything over 16h and these guys are all way over that are freaking me out! I walk past them and their legs are up to my shoulders it seems. I'm scared just thinking about it. On and I rode a 17.2 hunter a couple times and he was such an absolute doll! So I know training and temperament trump all, but the very first time I got up there on that hunter, I was so scared I was speechless! So, while I do have issues I know it isn't the breed... after all I have Appaloosas, and we all know how stubborn and stupid they are  jk |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Sept 17, 2014 20:36:16 GMT
I'm puzzled about how to "display" confidence.
Okay, so here goes... If I were to want Peaches to walk over a tarp that scared her, I'd walk her in a circle close to the tarp and keep doing that; clockwise, counterclockwise, big circle, small circle, until it was a nonissue and then get closer and closer. Build up pressure but not to the point of over the top upsetting her and then releasing it so that we move past the upset point gradually. No force.
But Andrea (nice fancy lady trainer who sure the heck knows more than I do) says that she'd bring Peachie up to the tarp and ask her to walk over it and if P resisted, then get her to move R then L to see if P would walk on the tarp.
Now my first reaction is that if it were something that really scared the horse, you'd be trying to force him/her over. Perhaps that back and forth was the "making it harder" and the walking across the tarp was the easy way out. Andrea said it wasn't about the tarp, it was about the relationship but
she still said it was about getting the horse to do what you wanted it
to do and even though she didn't really mean it this way, she said that if you got the horse on/over the tarp you'd win.
Now since Andrea is confident, she'll push things more than I will who isn't. And confidence in a horse often shows up as being pushy in the sense of asking for what is wanted rather than hoping they get it. The difference between meek and bold. So meek matches up with under confident but bold doesn't necessarily match up with confident... or does it?
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Post by lorddaxter on Sept 17, 2014 21:04:15 GMT
I agree with your trainer, but if you are happier in yourself doing it your way then do it, both will work but you are less likely to over face yourself!
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Post by horselover4life on Sept 17, 2014 21:34:46 GMT
Dang...another book!!
NO book anymore...I removed my post. 
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Post by horselover4life on Sept 17, 2014 21:54:15 GMT
I'm sorry. I don't mean my words to be so critical sounding or nasty...it is hard for me to put it into words that make sense without it sounding like a "attitude"...that is not my intention.
I have removed by my choice my posts...
I wish you the best....
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Post by lorddaxter on Sept 17, 2014 22:03:19 GMT
, I'm going to tell you something, my little angel Dax is a spooker on the road, he doesn't spook at traffic but spooks at signs, anything in the ditch, what he does is swing his ass into the traffic, not clever, he has done this since I got him and to be honest I have allowed him to although I would tell him off vocally. I bought some long boots, I hate riding in short ones, not sure if it's relevant, maybe I'm more confident in long boots but something happened the first time I rode him in them, he did his usual swing, I took my leg way back and booted him till he moved away from it, 3 days later I now just have to slightly move it and he does not swing his ass, he is now not looking at those signs hardly that he has spooked at for the last two years! So I do think a lot of our horses issues are caused by us, Shakespeare is right(aka horselover4life....lol!...she said it) |
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nhg
Junior Member
Posts: 2,429
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Post by nhg on Sept 17, 2014 22:06:59 GMT
If my horse had never been over a tarp I'd start on the ground. If the horse will walk over the tarp with no concern while being led then you know that if it won't do it while you're riding it's a different issue. Whether it's respect, picking up that you're concerned, being stubborn, I don't know. Lots of people 'tell' their horse that something is scary because they're scared of the horse's reaction to it. If you want o make Peaches walk over a tarp and you're concerned about giving her bad vibes stop a ways away and get yourself relaxed. Deep breaths, wiggle your toes so your legs are relaxed, maybe some stretches, things like that. What a confident rider would do in the same situation will not necessarily work for you.
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Sept 18, 2014 0:47:02 GMT
Something I don't think you realize, Peaches lives at home. I don't. I see her at most once a week. If I'm lucky and I don't get dragged off to something more important to someone else but not to me (yes, I am editorializing and venting) then I may get one hour with her. There have been years, not months, years when I saw her once a month but not even consistently.
So now do you think I'm babying her? No one had every ridden her when I got her. No one had cleaned her feet, never mind the farrier when I got her. No one had even brushed her much. The way she was lunged was to run mindless circles as fast as possible.
Sure its a challenge to pick up each foot and clean it, but I can. I've doctored her through two abscesses, where she stood still with a foot in a pan of solution without being tied. She'll ground tie for me. She'll walk at a proper distance, appropriate pace on a loose lead, in fact with no lead at all. I've backed her through a gate with the other horses running like crazy people toward a barking dog. Speaking of backing up, she'll navigate cones backward without a halter and lead. She comes when I call or even simply walk out in the pasture and I'm holding a halter. In fact, she'll put her head in the halter when I hold it up and ask her, same with a bit and bridle. She'll load into and out of a trailer calmly and in fact, she's off loaded off lead and waited for me. When I want to get the other horses in the corral except her, she knows to walk to the side and wait.
I have had trained horses in the past but never trained one myself. I never wanted to train a horse but there she was, who would want her if not me? We all know how it would end for her. She and I learned together. So let's get this straight. I can only do what I know to do, confident or not, and we work it through. I'm not mad or anything but I am misunderstood and I think you need more information.
Gerald said he'd help me, but how could he help me when he wasn't even home except winter, if then, except for the past two years? And then he doesn't like Peaches and makes no bones about it. He knows one way of training horses and there is no one size fits all. So I'm by myself per usual. At least now, with this job I live and work near where there are horse people. It costs a lot of money but not spending it sure doesn't get me any further.
You know, I wish someone would appreciate that I am not a horse person like you guys are. I'm scared all of the time about everything. I eat for comfort, get fat, and need comfort. I try and fail and try and fail and try again. Persistence is all I have. So be it.
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nhg
Junior Member
Posts: 2,429
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Post by nhg on Sept 18, 2014 3:23:08 GMT
, who was that directed towards? If it was me I'm not sure why. Maybe I said something the wrong way? If so, I apologise, I didn't mean to be offensive. |
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Lipizzan
Junior Member
Europe, Croatia
Posts: 2,572
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Post by Lipizzan on Sept 18, 2014 10:20:33 GMT
, I see you are frustrated. You don't have to be. And you don't have to be explaining yourself. From the first day I meet you here I saw how much you have love for your horse, and how much you have will and desire to be a good horse owner. I am sure every single person here is just trying to help and give you advice. And who ever step on your toe. I am sure that it was not their purpose. I love the way you think about animals, because I think very much alike. I, as you have a person(my dad), how is confronting me about my "training" methods. I understand you completely. You are already doing so much and not giving up on your horse when many would. |
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Post by horselover4life on Sept 18, 2014 10:51:41 GMT
No, nhg.... it was clearly directed at me.
Read my previous "books"here.
I am removing much of my post...you find them objectionable I believe and so I will make them disappear..
In answer to your comments hugs...
You are at a disadvantage somewhat because you don't have more time with the horse, yes.
Do you pander to her and let her get away with much, yes you really do.
I hope when you move her to a barn in close proximity to where you are now living it gets better..
I won't comment any further on your posts..
Again, my apologies for making you mad...
I wish you all the best, I truly do.
I will read and follow your updates, and I sincerely look forward to reading about great strides made going forward for both of you.
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redzip
Junior Member
Posts: 1,701
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Post by redzip on Sept 18, 2014 11:03:16 GMT
You sound like a horse 'trainer' to me As to walking over the tarp, and depending on the horse, I tend to just walk over to it, give them a look at it, and see if they follow me. If not, I would probably do what you do, and work them near it, until 'it' becomes just part of the surroundings to them,., not some new 'thing' to be fearful of. I also agree that working them on the ground first over it, and riding them over it are two separate issues. I would incorporate it into my ground work first, then transfer to undersaddle. |
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Post by lorddaxter on Sept 18, 2014 12:15:09 GMT
Yes, spending enough time is an issue, this is the first time I've spent days in a row with Dax and I'm noticing a huge improvement I cannot wait till I have an arena and more time to spend with them all, I'm sure I will start making more progress then:) |
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Sept 18, 2014 12:21:25 GMT
you have obviously done a great job with Peaches to make strides like those, especially with the limited time you have had with her. I didn't realize she was so unhandled before you got her. Confidence comes with time and experience. It will come. One day you will realize you are no longer scared. And believe me, we have all tried and failed (even those big name trainers). The key is to keep trying. I am so glad you are taking some lessons and not just sitting on a horse going around in a circle. You know what you need to work on and learn and you are doing it.
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....sounds like you did great. 
jk
