hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647 
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Post by hugs on Oct 26, 2013 21:01:27 GMT
FINALLY! I've been trying to be able to take riding lessons for years! Didn't have the time but had the money. Didn't have the money but had the time. Couldn't find anyone. Three years ago there was a gal who was going to help me as well as my horses and then after one lesson she didn't have the time. Last year I had the time and the money but the instructor's horse went lame, ugh! Can you stand it?! Yesterday was my second lesson so I'm ready to share because I was absolutely terror stricken during the first lesson. It took me nearly a week to get over it. You know how afterward you get over it and then you realize it was pretty fun? Nope, didn't happen. It was HORRIBLE! I was not looking forward to that second lesson. When I first talked to the instructor, she said that she'd have me ride on a lunge line and we'd do things step by step as she saw that I was skilled enough. Okay, good, nice and slow, sounds good. Well, after only 20 minutes she had the horse lope! A huge gelding that went so fast that everything went by in a whirl  I screamed "NO STOP, I'M TOO SCARED". When we loped on the other lead I managed not to yell  BUT YESTERDAY! I almost, almost enjoyed it! And instead of maybe 4 steps we went 8! The other thing is that my instructor switched me to a much smaller gelding  Now I'm only nervous and I am beginning to really feel that I could be a rider. While I was taking my lesson there were three kids all under 13 yrs of age and they were loping their patterns over and over. It was quite inspiring You know, I've ridden on and off since I was a little girl. But after just these two lessons I can see that as much as I improved over the years from sitting to riding there is an entire larger world of skill that I can see ahead of me! And I'm not even talking about sidepass, ya dee ya dee, I mean feel. I've been trying to "get there" but now I get it! I'm very excited about riding with feel rather than sitting on and hoping I stay there. The wait has been worth it. But I tell you, during that second lesson I was thinking, "Horse back riding is NOT for me; this really sucks!" Oh and by the way, this is version1955 from HT. I changed my the name to " " because I wanted something that expresses me better. |
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Post by horselady on Oct 27, 2013 0:13:37 GMT
well . i think you need a trainer that is going to work with you and not against. you. from my personal opinion and professional one. i give a newbie on horses a lesson that is slow., and easy . and work up to a trot in about 7 lessons. sure i am slow but i have had people take 10 lessons and beg to go faster than a trot. i teach to use the legs and hands and feet and i explain why a certain movement is done and what the result should be . if you can find another instructor and riding is for you, you just have to enjoy what you are doing. |
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Terry
Junior Member
Central Illinois, USA
Posts: 1,466
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Post by Terry on Oct 27, 2013 3:28:12 GMT
Hiya Version, n/k/a ! I'm glad you decided to join us!  First off, let me just say congrats on finally being able to take some riding lessons! I know how frustrating it is when you really want to do something, but the fates seem to be conspiring against you. I had that problem when I was trying to find a trainer for Zena. I tried for years to get a trainer to work with her to get her going under saddle again, but for one reason or another things never seemed to work out. For me, though, it was a blessing in disguise, because when I did finally find a trainer to work with her, everything just fell into place, the trainer is wonderful, and Zena is doing better than I ever dreamed she would! I have to say, though, that I agree with horselady about your instructor. It seems like they may have been pushing you a little too far too fast if they had you screaming to stop during your first lesson. You're supposed to be having fun and end each lesson being excited and looking forward to your next lesson, not getting the poop scared out of you.  I think you might need to have a chat with your instructor and let them know that you need them to take it slow and easy, and they should only increase the speed/intensity of the lesson when you say that you are comfortable with it. I think it will make it much more enjoyable for you, and you'll learn more if you aren't scared and feeling like you're being pushed too hard. I hope that you and your instructor can reach an understanding, and that you can really start enjoying your lessons. Please keep us posted! |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Oct 27, 2013 13:39:20 GMT
Thanks for the support guys coffee
And up until the end of the last lesson I would of TOTALLY agreed with you. In fact as I was trotting around and trying to find my seat again I was ready to stop, get off and never ride again.
However...
It turns out that its okay with me. You see, I am way too easy on myself. And I'm too easy on my horses. You don't know this and that's fine but I am a total marshmallow. In fact, I wanted to get to work this morning at 7, but did I set the alarm, no. Am I on this forum? YES! Why, because I "don't wanna"
Rebecca, the instructor, saw that I was doing totally fine. I didn't trust myself. I didn't believe in myself but she did, she saw my ability and knew that there wouldn't be a problem. One of my (many) problems is to let my self esteem/self confidence get in the way of me enjoying my life and it is totally unnecessary. Rebecca is so perceptive of horses and people that saw immediately and trusted herself that I could in fact trust myself and be okay, so she forced my hand, knowing that it didn't need to take longer. She pushed me to recognize it. And I have the cojones to step up to the plate.
I WANT to be able to ride confidently. I want it as soon as possible. There is so much I want to be able to learn and try and do. I got past this hurdle and now can work from nervous regret to looking forward to the lessons and be relaxed. Cross your fingers!
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Post by horselady on Oct 27, 2013 16:12:06 GMT
You are right to push your self past your comfort zone. that is why give yourself 7 - 10 lessons and than see where you are.
Sure , go into a trot or canter. but still keep your confidence and enjoyment, everyone is going to have steps forward and steps back. that is learning.
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Oct 28, 2013 17:23:13 GMT
I'm so glad you are finally getting the lessons you have been wanting. And I'm glad to hear you might, almost be enjoying them! Trust in yourself and trust in your instructor that you can do it and you will (eventually) enjoy it! Sending you lots of good vibes!
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Oct 28, 2013 18:26:09 GMT
You are right to push your self past your comfort zone. that is why give yourself 7 - 10 lessons and than see where you are. Sure , go into a trot or canter. but still keep your confidence and enjoyment, everyone is going to have steps forward and steps back. that is learning. Your way would of been my way. In fact given a choice I'd probably still choose it. Life is hard, who needs more BS? But that wasn't what happened and as the saying goes, I cantered and lived :-) so I'm past that now. Hopefully there aren't similar challenges yet to come. Please tell me if you know of any. There just aren't other places within an hour of where I'm living now. So I will adjust myself for the greater benefit than the pain to get there. Oh well :-) |
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Post by horselady on Oct 28, 2013 20:00:45 GMT
Suggest to your trainer that you want to perfect your riding , not just to go fast but to become more aware of your horse and the mechanics of riding.. why does your left heel make his left hind go under him."
or "why does putting the rein on the right side of his neck make him go left?"
all this is a process of learning. it is horsemanship and well equitation.
the next hurdle is just that. going over jumps cool.
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mingiz
Junior Member
Los Lunas, NM
Posts: 3,320
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Post by mingiz on Oct 28, 2013 23:53:02 GMT
Well Howdy there !!!  You need to go through the steps of riding. Start slow get that down to were your comfy. Then move to the next step. As you go along and things go smoothly your confidence will get better and you and your horse will be a better partners...  |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Oct 29, 2013 17:29:31 GMT
Thank you for the suggestions, support and flowers :-)
Friday is my next lesson, I'll ask about all of that.
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Terry
Junior Member
Central Illinois, USA
Posts: 1,466
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Post by Terry on Oct 29, 2013 23:58:08 GMT
Good luck, and be sure to let us know how it goes. |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Nov 2, 2013 13:09:00 GMT
Well, last night was my third lesson... I told Rebecca that I wanted to something that was actually FUN. That I didn't like just having to be "not so scared". She said that I needed to be pushed otherwise I'd be too easy on myself. Um... says who? I mean I'm coming to lessons, we'll get there when we get there... but I guess sooner is better than later, but still... isn't the journey supposed to be fun too? Then she said, you're comfortable with walking and trotting, those are your "release" and your rest. And true, we do mostly trotting, although if Rebecca's attention is on the other students then Boss will go to a walk. So I get to work on our transitions and I do get a break from fear.
Rebecca did do a cool thing. She had me stand in the middle with her as she schooled me on leads and gaits. I saw that Boss is pretty smooth when he goes into a lope and his lope isn't all that bouncy. But gosh, I said, it FEELS like a much bigger deal than it is. That's part of your problem, she said, you have to align/adjust your feelings with reality. You don't realize how well you ride!
I guess not.
We loped on the left lead for two entire circles. My bottom bounced a little but that's when I was wanting to go into the fetal position. When I sat more upright and into the saddle my bottom stayed on the saddle. But still, it felt like if I wasn't holding on to the horn with my right hand that I would fly right out of there. It feels like a lot of pull on my hand to come off the horn. I'm worried that I'm just gonna fly right out of there. Same with the right lead and my left hand on the horn. She says nonsense. What do you say?
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Nov 2, 2013 22:50:25 GMT
I was thinking about you yesterday! It sounds like she is trying to push you a little too much but isn't really listening to your fears/needs. Perhaps she is right and maybe in a few more lessons you will feel more and more comfortable. Sounds like you weren't yelling this time while loping. I bet in a few lessons you will be able to let go of the horn!
Just remember - this really is supposed to be fun. It may be a little scary now - but as long as you can see that you might be having fun soon, keep with it! rode-the-horse
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Terry
Junior Member
Central Illinois, USA
Posts: 1,466
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Post by Terry on Nov 2, 2013 22:58:53 GMT
I'm no expert, but I'm guessing that if you've got a death grip on the saddle horn while you're loping, that you aren't relaxed.  If you aren't relaxed, then you can't sit deep in the saddle and allow yourself to move in rhythm with your horse. I think if you can get to where you are more relaxed, sit deep and allow your hips/pelvis area to sort of rock with the motion of the horse to where you and the horse sort of become 1, you won't feel like you are about to fly out of the saddle. Does that make sense? I'm not very good at explaining things sometimes. I'm glad you are continuing your lessons, but I still think your instructor is pushing you to do more than what you are ready for right now. I still say she needs to wait until you are completely comfortable doing the slower/less intense things before moving up the ladder, so to speak. Good luck, though, and I hope you keep it up. In the end I'm sure you will be glad you did! |
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nhg
Junior Member
Posts: 2,429
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Post by nhg on Nov 2, 2013 23:02:21 GMT
He might be smooth but that doesn't mean that you won't have to get used to his gait and way of moving. My horse is super smooth and has a rocking chair lope but one time I let a woman ride him in the arena and it was horrible. Her butt was slamming into the saddle at every stride and she just couldn't get in synch with him. It was only about 5 mnutes but felt like she rode him for an hour, I felt so sorry for him!
I doubt you're like she was but the point is that you just might have to get used to him. Are you using your own saddle? If it's a different type or size than you're used to that could make a big difference. Some saddles I've tried spank me in the butt while I ride. If the horse is a little downhill I don't ride as well, either.
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Post by horselady on Nov 4, 2013 12:27:47 GMT
In My Professional opinion, and here goes. this is your third lesson. SO WHY IS SHE PUSHING YOU doesn't she realize that you will quit before you get comfortable.  ? if you are getting a death grip on the horn than you are not riding. you are holding on. your arms must hurt like heck. you need to be working with out stirups to actually feel your heiny in the saddle. and that goes for trot as well as walk. and perhaps not canter in a circle. where your balance is going to come forward or you are going to lean into the circle which makes the horse go into a smaller circle so he stays under you. my goodness. so you walk well and trot well. why not perfect those before moving to a canter. If i have someone here for lessons. i will have them go into a forward seat like jumping. (Yes in western saddle) and do lots of transitions even over ground poles. even tho you want to ride western. i would have you in a english saddle with a cheat strap around the horses neck instead of allowing you to grab onto the horn. |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Nov 6, 2013 2:25:45 GMT
I am in fact riding the lope with a death grip on the horn. And yes, I am not relaxed but if I can get there a little bit and I do a teeny bit it is better. So yeah, you have me pegged. Today I was supposed to have my 4th lesson but I just couldn't go. Yes I have a cold, but that wasn't why, I can simply wear a warmer jacket. I didn't realize how bad it would turn out but I ate some baked beans and well... lets just say that my body is over reacting to the fiber  but that wasn't why I didn't go for my lesson. I simply didn't want to put myself through the BS BUT! I found a place within a few miles of home that just opened up and also has an indoor arena AND won't push me to do more than I want to do!!! Plus I won't just be on a lunge line. I'll actually get to ride. I DO want to lope, but I feel like I'm the victim of someone's ego, you know? This will require me to really schedule the heck out of my work but obviously I'm willing to go above and beyond what's easy. I've been driving an hour one way to take lessons, I'm not lazy or unmotivated. My next lesson is Monday the 11th so I'll work some on Saturday to make up for the hours. I have permission to work my 40 hours in 4 days so this should work out better for me. |
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Post by horselady on Nov 6, 2013 2:33:02 GMT
Lunge work is ok to maintain some control of horse and to build up confidence. I would suggest a engilsh saddle for a few lessons. you would be surprised as to the amount of confidence it develops than switch to western.
and yes you are committed to learning and glad you found a barn that is closer.
as to the fiber situation,. well you learned your lesson there. never eat that before going in a public place. lol hmmm
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Nov 6, 2013 10:47:02 GMT
English saddle? No thanks  If I don't need the horn then I don't use it but just having it there is comforting. You know what would be neet. If I could not hold the horn and then ask the horse to start the lope and then immediately back off. But maybe that's too much to ask of a horse. I've been looking for a suitable log to substitute for a horse for a couple years now. It would be so handy to hook it up like a hammock and practice getting a good seat and also for practicing emergency dismounts. I too think it would be easier on me to ride in a straight line, but then who am I, I'm not a trainer. |
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Post by horselady on Nov 7, 2013 0:28:28 GMT
You are the customer and yes you can hold on to the horn than let go.
and using an english saddle is not a forever thing, just until you get the feel of the horse under you and the sway of the to and froe.
like a rocking chair.
remember when you were a kid on a swing and you wanted to go higher and higher and you pushed with your seat. same feeling. you can sit on a chair backwards and practice or slightly bend your knees and try to swing the hips back and forth. and keep your hands up straight in front of you.
see if that works.
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I screamed "NO STOP, I'M TOO SCARED". When we loped on the other lead I managed not to yell 
BUT YESTERDAY! I almost, almost enjoyed it! And instead of maybe 4 steps we went 8! The other thing is that my instructor switched me to a much smaller gelding 
Now I'm only nervous and I am beginning to really feel that I could be a rider. While I was taking my lesson there were three kids all under 13 yrs of age and they were loping their patterns over and over. It was quite inspiring 
" because I wanted something that expresses me better. 
I think you might need to have a chat with your instructor and let them know that you need them to take it slow and easy, and they should only increase the speed/intensity of the lesson when you say that you are comfortable with it. I think it will make it much more enjoyable for you, and you'll learn more if you aren't scared and feeling like you're being pushed too hard.
If you aren't relaxed, then you can't sit deep in the saddle and allow yourself to move in rhythm with your horse. I think if you can get to where you are more relaxed, sit deep and allow your hips/pelvis area to sort of rock with the motion of the horse to where you and the horse sort of become 1, you won't feel like you are about to fly out of the saddle. Does that make sense? I'm not very good at explaining things sometimes.
?
but that wasn't why I didn't go for my lesson. I simply didn't want to put myself through the BS
If I don't need the horn then I don't use it but just having it there is comforting.