hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647 
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Post by hugs on Jun 24, 2015 15:55:43 GMT
This was a few years ago, Gerald's daughter Emily (both horse and rider have lost a few pounds) used to ride Penny weekly and her mom would ride Buster, we have trails within a mile of our place.   Through FB I connected with a really neet gal who is a 4H leader in a rather poor county in WI. She's trying to find inexpensive horses for their 4H kids. I've talked to a mom hand selected by the leader and they're really a nice family. I was going to lease but this mom has a daughter and a son who are interested in riding and if they should bond with the horse they don't want any broken hearts. And they keep their horses long term and don't run through a lot so this sounds like the best deal. I keep thinking that if I were smart I'd be working with Penny rather than Peaches. We bought Penny for me and she rode really well from the very first. The problem is that I have this irrational "bond" with Peaches. Now I betcha if I worked with Penny as much as I've worked with Peaches I'd bond with her too but there is always that pushiness that Penny has that Peaches doesn't. Peaches gets mouthy if fed treats but she'd more want you to pet her and love on her than see if she could buffalo you. Penny gets over it but it's always there, you know? It's not like Penny is going to go stale and be useless if I get to her this week, next year or never. She doesn't mind being a pasture ornament. I keep thinking Gerald will get back to riding but he's on again off again, so many health issues get in his way but I know deep down he misses it and he really likes Penny. But if he should never get healthy enough to ride then Penny loses out. And Penny doesn't spook in place and Gerald's knees won't allow him to hold on. I don't know what to do really. Sold is gone! |
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Post by carshon on Jun 24, 2015 19:38:44 GMT
Awww  - I don't know what to say. Sad how our heads can tell us one thing is a good idea and our hearts tell us another. Really think about it and you will know what is right for you and Gerald. |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jun 24, 2015 20:02:48 GMT
I've thought about selling her before; same argument, head says "if you don't use her then let someone else, Penny will probably be just has happy if not more so", then my heart says, "But she's such a NICE horse, if I just had the time I could be happy with her".
I HATE this indecision and absolute frustration. Because then it devolves into wishing I could live at home which of course I can't. Except for right now and then I have to plan to move to anywhere in the US. I don't like that either... "... I never promised you a rose garden..."
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Lipizzan
Junior Member
Europe, Croatia
Posts: 2,572
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Post by Lipizzan on Jun 24, 2015 20:05:01 GMT
At the end of day a true horsewoman will know that the most important thing is what is best for a horse. I think if Penny does not have purpose she will not be truly happy. But also maybe she is happy how she is as a pasture puff. You will know what is for the best.
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jun 24, 2015 21:03:43 GMT
I believe horses don't think in terms of "what makes me happy"; they are about that they are horses in a herd, eating and being safe. I don't believe that of their own thoughts they'll prefer one place or another. Are some horses "thinkier" than other horses? Yes, but when she was given a chance to go on a trail ride by herself she refused. I'm sure we'd all interpret that to mean she didn't trust her rider to keep her safe. And that is probably true. But then, that also means she isn't that adventuresome of a spirit, which means there is a likelihood that she's happy where she is with the attention that she gets. And she, as well as the other two horses, get attention at least twice a day.
So I'm happy with her at home. It's just that I'd like to see her bond with a kid and the kid bond with her and them having adventures together and that can only happen if I sell her as things are now. If Gerald could ride there would be no problem keeping her, he could get her tuned up for his own grandchildren. Or if I was able to get a job and live at home, I could do it too. But that may be a pipe dream.
Always the "if-thens", bugs the crap out of me
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Post by horselady on Jun 25, 2015 1:50:27 GMT
Selling is never easy, i have sold a favorite mare and had to listen to her screaming out the driveway but i knew she would be loved and ridden. the same with Penny.
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jun 25, 2015 4:05:22 GMT
Oh My Goodness, that would haunt me, HL!
I think one of my problems with this is I want to DO something and right now I'm thwarted.
Tomorrow morning I have a job interview, then in the afternoon teeth cleaning (not worried about that, thank goodness there is ONE thing I'm not fussing about).
Then Friday I have my certification test which I've been studying off and on as I search/apply for jobs. Then after work Nelsie (son) is coming over to help me load my queen sized futon into the Rav and I'm going home!!!
I am just going to have to be the captain of my own ship when I get home and not let Gerald tell me what to do. It's so easy to keep not doing what I want to do because I'll be alone and I hardly ever get to see him and I never know when I'll have to leave again, each moment is precious. SO frustrating to have to choose between two important things like that but... there it is, it isn't likely to change any time soon.
So I think for now I'll keep Miss Penelope Pitstop (anyone remember her?) and stop fussing about it.
Maybe I'll take them both out for a walk and see how that goes? That'll be interesting, I've never done that before, walked two horses.
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Post by carshon on Jun 25, 2015 13:15:04 GMT
- best of luck on your job interview! |
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Jun 25, 2015 23:56:47 GMT
Just seeing this, sorry. I think with so much up in the air with you right now, I would wait to make any other big decisions. Once things settle down with the job, then maybe think about what to do with the horses (if anything).
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jun 26, 2015 0:35:10 GMT
Wouldn't it be neet if we could order our life happenings like ordering food from a menu? lol
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Post by horselady on Jun 26, 2015 1:10:29 GMT
That walk with two horses sounds like fun, decisions are made and than we change our mind. that is ok. good luck with the interview.
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Post by spirithawk06 on Jun 28, 2015 18:26:26 GMT
I was in the same boat with Apollo. I did wind up selling him, but he stays here, so I get the best of both worlds and now I have one less weight on my shoulders. Good luck with whatever you decide, even if it changes in the log run.
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jul 1, 2015 15:11:52 GMT
I decided against selling, it's too permanent and I believe I've picked up the skills to work with her successfully. I'll let you know how it goes.
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Jul 1, 2015 20:29:12 GMT
I think it's a great idea to work with her some more. Peaches has really taught you a lot of valuable lessons that you can pass on to the other horses. If in the future, you decide to sell, then you can make that choice at that time. No hurry right?
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Post by horselady on Jul 1, 2015 20:37:49 GMT
I had a horse that was born here and a son of my arabian stallion verbally sold. price and everything. note, i said "verbally" i always take a deposit and make a sold sales agreement stating all that we discussed. two days later she calls to tell me she contacted the vet for a vet inspection and she changed his name.  WHAT NO WAY,, i called the vet and canceled the exam and when her husband called me and called me a biatch i blasted him and i was thankfull i did not sell my baby to her. i sold him twice after that but he was here as a boarder, and i still have him here as i was given him back to me  when the last person divorced her husband and moved out of the area. |
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jul 2, 2015 12:32:14 GMT
Gerald and I let the horse's into a round pen to eat down the grass rather than feeding hay. Well as night Gerald couldn't stand to squitos so he left. When I went to push them out Penny threatened to double barrel me twice. Peaches left right away and ofcourse Ziggy circled around. Got a long whip and simply wiggled it and they all skeddaddled. But Penny scared me and as I was out of breath I was kind of gasping and sobbing, about the Gerald came back and barked at me not to cry. That is an unacceptable response, we've talked about this idea that I should have his emotional responses except of course it is unacceptable for me to express anger although he may. I believe this is life's way of telling me that I am better suited to an isolated life. My brother is a manipulative druggy, my dad died in 2005. My kids are 31 and 33 with significant others and so don't need me. I have my crafts and a library card. I don't need more b.s.
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mistersmom
Junior Member
Abita Springs, LA
Posts: 3,749
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Post by mistersmom on Jul 2, 2015 14:36:46 GMT
Aw hug.s, you can't help how you react to situations that start to get out of hand. It's only natural after the fact to be able to release that tension from those scary moments. If you do that by crying, then so be it. Keep the whip with you the next few times you need to move the horses or something just to remind Penny that you are lead mare and will not put up with threats from her. I know what you mean about living a solitary lifestyle. My son is 17 and I hardly ever see him any more as he is out with friends. I haven't been in a relationship for 6+ years now and I think I prefer this way. I can do what I want, when I want and how I want with no worries of having to deal with or please anyone else (well except the cats!).  |
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Post by horselover4life on Jul 3, 2015 15:05:16 GMT
All I can say is I offer my support and some  to you.
Once the threat was removed you felt...yes, crying is appropriate when your mind & body felt in danger.
If that is how you felt, then that is how you felt.
Gerald needs a dose of compassion.
Although a man, he has felt those same emotions at some time...guess he just forgot how he did indeed deal with it.
You deal with it and release it as you need to, and tell him to kiss off till he can get his 'tude in order!!
Some serious thoughts are crossing your mind right now....think them through carefully, once that is done, act upon them.
For you, for your happiness!!
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hugs
Junior Member
Posts: 2,647
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Post by hugs on Jul 3, 2015 18:09:43 GMT
Thank you. I feel better now. I agree gotta bring the whippy sticks from now on.
Gerald brags about how well behaved he got Penny and Ziggy but I obviously have higher standards. But he gets so egotistical about certain things. Not my favorite feature. But then my depression isn't his and he always sweetens up to comfort me which I very much appreciate.
I am getting my head around this horse business, it is all about confident compassion isn't it.
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Post by horselover4life on Jul 3, 2015 22:49:53 GMT
I am getting my head around this horse business, it is all about confident compassion isn't it.
It is about CONFIDENT, yes indeed.
The compassion part comes secondary to the confident in my book.
Confident keeps you in charge of the situation mentally and that gives you the upper hand and "boss mare" position.
Your compassion will also show as the "boss mare" is not hostile but can be loving to those she takes care of...her herd.
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- I don't know what to say. Sad how our heads can tell us one thing is a good idea and our hearts tell us another. Really think about it and you will know what is right for you and Gerald.
WHAT NO WAY,, i called the vet and canceled the exam and when her husband called me and called me a biatch i blasted him and i was thankfull i did not sell my baby to her. i sold him twice after that but he was here as a boarder, and i still have him here as i was given him back to me 
when the last person divorced her husband and moved out of the area. 
to you.
....